俗话说:"爱他就要恶搞他."以下是我和Kylin翻译的一篇外国恶搞同人。
******Title: Impossible Circumstances
Author: Syndarys (syndarys@hotmail.com)
Pairing: Aragorn/Legolas (Frodo/Sam implied)
Rating: PG
Summary: After a drunken interlude in Rivendell, all seems fine between
Aragorn and Legolas... that is, until Legolas starts throwing up in the
morning, and having slight mood swings... it'd almost make a person
believe he was pregnant, but thats impossible... right?
Disclaimer: I own nothing, I am but a poor student, who lives off beans
on toast. Suing me would be pointless... unless you want to deprive me
of my beans on toast.
Authors Notes & Warnings: Slash (A/L) resulting in male pregnancy
(lol!), and some bad language. Proof of the fact I have a warped sense
of humor.
以上是作者的一些notes,文中如涉及一些比较BT的东西，我们希望大家根据自己的接受能力来选择，无论是感想，建议，意见，牢骚，批评...我们都欢迎大家的回帖
如果大家都觉得无法接受，我们会随时终止，但还是希望大家无论如何把它看完，毕竟是几个通宵的功夫呀~~~~我们会在每章翻译后贴出原文，英文高手可直接看原文，希望对我们的翻译发表意见:p
魔戒之不思议事件 第一章
那是在魔戒队向索隆出发的一个月之前,Aragron决定去见一见Legolas,这位已隔数年未曾谋面的挚友.他们初遇之时Aragron还只是个未经世事的少年.在那段日子总能看到他们俩在一起形影不离.无奈随着时间悄然流逝,黑暗渐渐笼罩中州大地,相聚的机会越来越少,终于停止在大约十年之前.
"真是好久不见,我亲爱的朋友,"Aragron轻声问候着靠近精灵.Legolas就坐在那里,在垂柳下的长椅上,身边一趟清流泛着银光缓缓滑下山谷汇入Bruinen河.精灵抬起头与他眼神相遇,然后笑了.
"确实如此,'他答道,"过来这里,Aragron."他向人类招手,并轻轻拍着身边的空位."坐下来,我们来叙叙旧."
Aragron点点头并在精灵的身边坐下来.游荡者的脸上现出一抹微笑.
"来一杯如何?"他问道,从身后拿出两只高脚杯和一瓶上乘的精灵酒.Legolas笑着并满是渴望的点点头.
"当然!"
Aragron斟满了酒杯,递一杯给身边的精灵.
"应该有什么祝酒辞吧,"游荡者说道,"让我想想......为了我们远征的开始!"
Legolas微笑着赞同--朋友间的默契让他知道接下来该是什么,"为我们的远征!"酒杯互撞后,他们一饮而尽.
"为了..."精灵停下来思考着,"为了这美酒!"他终于说道,"失去了它,我们便无法如此开怀!"
"为了这美酒!"Aragron又满上一杯.
这样的情景持续了半个小时,直到酒瓶再也无法空出半滴.于是所有的事物:树木,草丛,晨星,以及刚才被祝福的一切,包括人类和精灵,此刻都被笼罩在浓郁而又美好的醉意之中.
"恩...多美的树,"精灵将双臂环绕上垂柳的树干,"我热爱树木!"
由于酒精的作用,Legolas突然觉得这世间一切事物是那么美好,那么可爱--"还有你,我美丽的精灵!"--Aragron也是一样的好心情.
"我的美丽并不及你,我可爱的人类!呵呵呵呵..."Legolas以手遮口咯咯的笑了,却因为过于激动而倒在了地上.
Aragron慢慢移动让自己靠近精灵,然后用臂揽住Legolas,'你是我最最..最..最好的朋友,我的!"他灿烂的笑着,紧紧环住精灵.
"我爱你!"Legolas还给人类一个同样紧紧的拥抱,"我最爱的人类!"
"我也爱你!"Aragron回应着.(虽然忍不住打了一个嗝)
不可思议的爱情就这样发生了.不久以后,他们自然而然的在垂柳的庇护下,长椅上的二人世界中做起恋人们该做的事情.
怎么样？下面的才是真正的不可思议的事呢，我们来期待Kylin吧
这是原文：
A month before the Fellowship was set to depart on their quest, Aragorn
decided to go and meet with Legolas, as he had not seen him in ages.
They had first met years ago when Aragorn was but a teenager, and they
had seen eachother frequently during his youth. But as the years
progressed, and times grew darker, their meetings dwindled and finally
stopped almost 10 years ago.
"It's been a while, my friend," Aragorn greeted Legolas as he
approached the Elf. Legolas was sitting outside, on a bench beneith a
weeping Willow tree, on the bank of a small stream that flowed with
silvery water down the valley toward the river Bruinen. Legolas looked
up at him and smiled.
"Indeed," he replied. "Come Aragorn," he beckoned to the man, and
patted the seat beside him, "Sit with me, and let us talk."
Aragorn nodded and sat down beside him. A grin appeared on the Ranger's
face.
"Care for a drink?" he asked, pulling two champagne flutes and a bottle
of the finest Elven wine availible from behind his back. Legolas
laughed and nodded eagerly.
"Of course!" he replied.
Aragorn poured the wine into the glasses and handed one of them to
Legolas.
"A toast?" said Aragorn, "Lets see... to the quest for starters!"
Legolas nodded with a grin - he knew where this was going. "To the
Quest!" They clinked glasses and took a drink.
"To the..." Legolas paused as he tried to think of something, "To the
wine!" he said finally, "For without which, we'd not be having such fun
and games!" he finished with a laugh.
"To the wine!" Aragorn said before taking another gulp.
This went on for about half an hour, until the bottle was empty, and
various things such as trees, individual blades of grass, stars, and
various articals of clothing had been toasted, and both man and elf
were plesently drunk.
"Hmm, what a pretty tree," Legolas wrapped his arms around the trunk of
the weeping willow, "I love trees!"
Legolas was in the 'I love everything' stage of drunkeness - "You, you
pretty, nice elf!" - and so was Aragorn.
"Not as pretty as you, cute human, hehehehe," Legolas started to giggle
and covered his mouth with his hand, while slumping to the floor in a
fit of hysterics.
Aragorn moved over so he was next to the elf, before wrapping his arms
around Legolas, "You're my bestestest friend you are!" he beamed while
squeezing Legolas tightly.
"I love you," said Legolas while hugging the human back just as
tightly, "my favorite human!"
"I love you too!" Aragorn replied with a hic-cough.
The declarations of platonic love eventually developed into groping,
and before long, they were doing naughty things in the limited privacy
of the weeping willow branches.
希望大家喜欢，欢迎随时发表意见
