写了一首歌，一定错误百出……
The sound of nature are singing down.<br>Tell me the turth of love.<br>I can see all of them are crying.<br>Giving me the breathe of night.<br><br>The moon is hanging on the sky.<br>Keep her light surrounding the land.<br>Your eyes make me see<br>bightly will in you heart.<br>If you say the coulds will gone,<br>and the leaves will fall.<br>But it will always keep in your heart.<br><br>Between the time and space.<br>Ancient life are keep on living and dying.<br>To the quick and death.<br>There's one thing not change.<br>That I see it in your heart.<br>It's the love,the ture love to everything.<br>I can't require you to love me only.<br>It isn't the life belongs to a ranger like you.<br><br>God save me from the distence.<br>Let me know whereever you are.<br>I pray for moonlight bless you.<br>Give you health and savety always and forever.<br><br>You are fighting for protecting everything of nature<br>Why don't I do this?<br>God give me prower to keep the banlance of nature.<br>But I can't keep the banlance of my heart well.<br>God please let me know wheather you love me <br>and how deep your love is.<br><br>Tree between the tree let me know <br>time goes by with the tears.<br>Everything tell me that you are belong to them <br>not me.<br>What can I say,and what can I do?<br>Dungeons may die of loney.<br>The river will run dry with sad.<br>And I may fate in missing you.<br><br>The wind keep on singing, <br>wispering the truth of love.<br>I want to hear of your heart-beating.<br><br> <br>请大家帮我改错好吗？谢谢了。 <!--emo&:ph34r:--><img src='http://www.cndkc.org/bbs/html/emoticons/ph34r.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='ph34r.gif'><!--endemo--> 个人认为写诗歌最好<br>多少可以忽视语法<br>甚至某些错误可以增加诗歌朦胧感和韵位<br><br>楼上的写得真好，羡慕ing<br><br>最好配上小曲儿，改天出个flash mtv<br> <!--emo&:rolleyes:--><img src='http://www.cndkc.org/bbs/html/emoticons/rolleyes.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='rolleyes.gif'><!--endemo--> <br> 写诗不用语法的吗？<br>不管，一些语法或者拼写错误：<br>The sound of nature are singing down. ---->Sound是不可数名词，怎么能用are呢？<br>bightly will in you heart. ----> bight是曲线，那么bightly……好像没有吧。应该是brightly吧？但是Brightly是一个adv.这里应该是用n.的，然则Bright这个的n.解释却是汽车灯……这里你看着办吧。<br>If you say the coulds will gone,---->could是can的过去时，好像没有s吧？你这里应该是一个名词，所以我想应该是cloud<br>God save me from the distence. -----> distence？是distance吧？<br>Give you health and savety always and forever.---->Savety应该是Safety吧……<br>God give me prower to keep the banlance of nature.----> Prow是船首……那么这里应该是Power吧<br>God please let me know wheather you love me-----> Wheather 应为Whether<br>Everything tell me that you are belong to them ----->这句话我不肯定是否错了，好像belong to 前面不需要是动词吧？<br>Dungeons may die of loney. ----> Loney 是Lonely吧<br>wispering the truth of love. -----> wispering应为whispering<br>I want to hear of your heart-beating. ---->这个，hear of 是听其他人说，听说sth.的信息。说“听到你的心跳”就可以不用of了，直接hear就可以了 the bright不就成了…… 恩，翻帖子看到的<br>首先对楼主写英文诗歌的勇气表示敬佩<br>不是打击你，诗歌的语言含有很深的文化背景，这首诗歌除了语法错误，很多说法在英文中是不存在的。<br><br>比如说<br>Let me know whereever you are. <br>I pray for moonlight bless you. <br><br>我明白你的意思，但是说法应该是let me know where you are<br>如果是你祈祷月光的保佑，那么是i pray for the moonlight to bless you<br>如果是月光保佑你，那么是i pray, the moonlight bless you.<br> <!--QuoteBegin--努塔瑞+2003-07-07，13:40 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (努塔瑞 @ 2003-07-07，13:40 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> the bright不就成了…… <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd--><br> 一般而言……，奇幻里经常用的“光明”一词，英语写作“Brightness” 抛开以上各网友举的例子…………<br>………………………………………<br>………………………………………<br>您的作品读起来不像诗歌（飞逃）<br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br>请继续努力 <!--emo&:lol:--><img src='http://vampire.l18.bizcn.com/bbs_en/html/emoticons/laugh.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='laugh.gif'><!--endemo--> 想编辑的时候时效已经过拉～～<br><br>想想刚才丢下有点过分的评语就跑开不太好。<br><br>所以试着给点建议看看。<br><br>先别急着写诗，把您每段的意思用英文熟练无误的写一便<br><br>写出来后，看看那些句子的结构，意义的表达可以改变与更换。<br><br>把这些可以变化的地方按照您想要的节奏和韵律修改。<br><br>控制字数，注意押韵～～<br><br>如无意外做起来仍然是很困难的～～～～～ <!--emo&:lol:--><img src='http://vampire.l18.bizcn.com/bbs_en/html/emoticons/laugh.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='laugh.gif'><!--endemo--> <br><br><br>但是写诗歌就要有相应的觉悟啊！！<br><br><br>努力吧！ <!--QuoteBegin--Taburiss+2003-09-22，22:14 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Taburiss @ 2003-09-22，22:14 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> <!--QuoteBegin--努塔瑞+2003-07-07，13:40 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (努塔瑞 @ 2003-07-07，13:40 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> the bright不就成了…… <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd--><br>一般而言……，奇幻里经常用的“光明”一词，英语写作“Brightness” <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd--><br> 是light<br>brightness用来形容耀眼的阳光等等，并非抽象名词，也不合适用来当象征性的名词。页:
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